Dear Members,
We are beginning another year of the liturgical calendar, usually starting in Advent. It’s a season of hope, love, peace and joy.
There are two issues I would like to comment on at this time. At the time of writing this message, six teenage boys were charged after being positively iden-tified for raping a thirteen-year-old girl. The boys have been charged with, “rape, forcible abduction, knowing and producing child pornography and dis-tributing child pornography”.
It is easy to dismiss this story as just another one of them, they got caught, but what of other cases that never get reported and where hush money was paid to keep the victims quiet or where the family of the victim was threatened? My Heart goes out to this teenage girl who has to live with the shame, the trauma of being violated and possibly being emotionally scarred for life for having to endure this experience and live with the memory.
On the other hand, this is a story that could paint a gloomy picture of hopeless-ness for the youths of our nation but let us not stop there. It forces you to get into the minds of these boys and ask, “What were they thinking? Where did they get the idea that their action was appropriate and acceptable? What kind of formation did they receive from their homes? What is their family history like? Do they have younger female siblings, and would they be happy for other boys to treat their siblings like this? Did they think they were free to do what they wanted with this little girl, without some consequences?”
These are questions that cannot be ignored. This incident, however, does pro-vide an opportunity for the church and other institutions like the family and the school to intervene and help our young people to be formed into responsi-ble citizens. There is no doubt that exposure to explicit sexual content on the internet can influence children’s behaviour where there is no guidance.
Hope is extended when the church becomes more intentional in its sex educa-tion programme. This means not shying away from the topic of sex but talking about it in healthy ways to young people, helping them to understand its value in acceptable social relationships and its dangers when not handled responsi-bly; offering strategies for coping, resisting peer pressure, respecting one an-other’s rights and maintaining mutually acceptable ways of interacting.
Children are helped when parents are trained to offer guidance; when those working with children and youths at church are trained to talk comfortably about sex where they can offer guidance without judgment to youths struggling with inappropriate sexual behaviour.
The incidence with these boys is not isolated, it's only the tip of the iceberg. Our youngsters need help, and the church has a role to play in collaborating with other interest groups in our society to rescue our youths, both those who are victims and those who are perpetrators of sex crimes.
Loneliness
Another matter before I go. A study was recently published in South Korea highlighting what was described as a loneliness epidemic spreading worldwide. It was observed that every year thousands of Korean middle-aged men die alone, being cut off from family and friends. Loneliness is not just the absence of having people around. It’s the absence of purpose – coming to the end of one's life and there is no community to share with, no family to interact with, and no sense of having contributed to the rest of society that is respected, val-ued, and appreciated. Loneliness then is not limited to the aged or restricted to any culture or society. It can impact anyone, including youths, who lack family and social connection and who lack value in themselves and meaning in life.
This season can intensify the feelings of loneliness, not only for the fact that we have a growing aging population, but some have also lost loved ones through death or divorce and feel especially lonely and vulnerable at this time. Connect with friends, get involved with your church and members look out for one an-other. Reach out to those alone at home, invite them for a meal, and visit those in the hospital. Make sure that there is hope and joy for those who seek the fellowship of God’s people during this Advent season.
Shalom
Your Pastor